I have spent so much time making others feel comfortable that I didn’t realize I was uncomfortable the entire time
How does this resonate with you?
So many of us are focused on what needs to be done and how to be polite within our cultures that when we stop for a minute and comprehend how truly we feel within ourselves we realize-
HEY!- I am actually NOT comfortable.
It is so easy to get lost when being of service to others that the boundaries can get blurred.
How does it affect you and how much energy does it take from you daily? The answer is-probably quite a lot! Its like a constant dance to keep everyone else happy, whether we know it or not.
The real question underneath it all is why are we are so busy making everyone else comfortable?
Is it because it keeps the peace?
That conflict stresses you out?
Perhaps you have lost your voice?
You feel overwhelmed and are not sure how to get out of it?
Or maybe you’ve lost touch with yourself, and you don’t know how you got here?
Here’s the thing, that allowing yourself to be in uncomfortable situations just to keep others comfortable, means you are nurturing them and not you- In the long run what do our lives look like if that pattern continues?
How can you live a life aligned with your values if you are not making sure you are comfortable first?
The first step to understanding where our comfort begins and ends is connection to our body. If we listen to the signals it sends us. We are each born with an internal compass, it’s there ready to go, we just need to stay connected to it.
The good news is that our bodies tell us the truth of what we need to know. In some cases it can draw attention to where there may be past trauma that is getting triggered and shows us we might need some additional support to work through it. The body will tell you, it’s developing the skills of listening to it- is where the power lies.
How to begin to develop a strong connection to my body:
Stop a few times a day and do an internal check in- ask yourself- how am I feeling right now, is my body comfortable in this space and if not what can I do to feel more comfortable?
Once you have been disconnected from your internal world for a long time, working out how you feel can be challenging. You might not have the language for emotions and you genuinely might not know how you feel at all, and that is fine. Using colours when you don’t have the word is very helpful and non threatening. What colour am I feeling right now-am I brown/ blue/yellow and is that good or bad for me? Keeping it simple can start the process in a non-pressured way.
Of course, none of us are completely comfortable all of the time but living in a way that puts others comfort above our own, is a fast track to living a life that does not reflect the one you are striving for. Start small, reconnect to yourself often and be open to what your compass is telling you-you might be pleasantly surprised at which direction you go.